Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love]. (Galatians 6:2, AMP)
I remember when I first met my wife and the joy of finding a friend who brought such happiness to my life. We were committed to each other and desired to help the other achieve what we believed was God’s call upon our lives. It was, and still is, our belief that God allowed us to be joined in marriage to help us please Him better together than we could ever realize by being apart.
Our relationship began with trying to learn and appreciate as much about each other as possible. It was fascinating and so much fun to discover the likes and dislikes, visions, and plans for the future that we had made as individuals. We, then, lovingly handled each other’s desires, always wanting to preserve and combine our goals to allow each other to feel and experience the value, respect, and honor of an open and transparent relationship. We realized what it meant to assist the other in pursuing our determination to please God and each other. We came to an awareness that God had placed us in each other’s lives to be His physical and emotional representative of love.
God knows everything about us better than we know ourselves; and in marriage, we must learn the intimate details of our mates over time.. This is where transparency is so vital to the health and continued growth and maturity of our marriages. Being open with one another allows us to not only stumble upon but to see the weaknesses and strengths of the other. Openness reveals the dreams and nightmares of your mate to help with nurturing, protection, and sharing. Closeness is very difficult, if not impossible, without the vulnerability of open and honest communications – honest talk that is spoken always in love and a desire to bring healing.
The transparency that pleases God is not one of expressing any and everything that comes to mind but communication that conveys truth in a loving manner. Thoughts that are hurtful, unkind, and unloving that would burden or bring pain to the receiver, should be shared with God alone. The positive and the negative exchanges of words must all be done with the goal of stating and sharing love. Our determined purpose must be to be truthful and kind. Many of our difficulties arise simply from a lack of talking to each other. Instead of talking, we are satisfied with trying to read each other’s tones, expressions, or even silence. We discover, most of the time, we are poor readers. Learn to ask clarifying questions when meaning or understanding is missing from your conversations and relationship.
God helps us because he knows everything, but He still wants us to ask for help. In order for us to help one another, we must learn to share who we are with our mate. Remember, we want to know so that we can demonstrate the love of God toward our spouse. This requires a selfless attitude that invites the presence and help of God into our lives. We must stay on task as God’s representatives and assistants to help our mates achieve their destinies and God-given purposes. You will only be able to do this if you believe God is working for your good through your mate. This requires you to be wholly committed to love your mate as you believe God loves you. You are one in Christ.
To accomplish this, you must encourage each other and spend time weekly sharing goals, aspirations, and dreams, as well as hurts, failures, and feelings of inadequacy, mistakes, sins, and victories. Be vulnerable enough to communicate what may seem obvious: that you love each other and are committed to the other’s success in life.