Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 NLT)
I have written in the past about the kind of love known as agape love. This type of love is a one-way street of love that can be and is commanded by God. In other words, agape love is unilateral, requiring no reciprocation. This type of love should guide our actions toward covenant mates in marriage in obedience to God’s Word.
Today I want to talk about phileo love or the love defined in friendship and also found in God’s Word. Phileo love, unlike agape love, is not unilateral but in fact, grows through reciprocation. Phileo involves sharing, communication, and the commonness of goals, purpose, and heart. When I looked up the definition of companion it said friend and somebody to be with. I challenge you to endeavor to become friends with your spouse.
The challenge is not to ask each other to think the same but to think together realizing that two are better than one in facing life’s trials. Strive and learn to share your life goals and purposes with each other through communication. Realize that without knowing each other’s direction and passions, it is very difficult (if not impossible) for you to walk together. Amos 3:3 (NLT) states, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”
We must learn to be open and honest with our mates to identify the individual and common enemies to be confronted together. According to the Ecclesiastes scripture quoted above, two are better than one because they help each other. Spouses must choose to fight against any foe that threatens the unity of their marriage or family. Hearts, goals, purposes, and directions need to be shared and consolidated for the couple to pull or push towards the same destination.
Determine to become friends and yes, maybe someday, even best friends: friends that will not break confidences, or personal secrets shared between you; friends who will not use disclosed weaknesses for personal advantage but will only support and affirm each other in the face of unity-opposing forces. Be companions and friends who will obey God and demonstrate agape love for each other until phileo love is experienced.
Remember that the things that God promises and provides can only be obtained or achieved with His help. Ask for and receive God’s help to become friends with your spouse and enjoy phileo love. Let God become the third cord of your marriage making it not easily broken.