Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 ESV)
When God instituted marriage for mankind, He said that it would require the leaving of father and mother and the holding fast of the man and woman to each other. The leaving here speaks of establishing a higher priority for the marriage over your parents or any other distraction. This leaving of parents and holding fast between husband and wife would result in them becoming one flesh. The Hebrew word translated as one means to become united or, in some instances, the same. I believe that God created marriage to be a blessing to mankind that would allow humanity to serve Him better together through marriage than apart.
In following the instruction of holding fast, I do not believe that God wanted us to lose our identity to our spouses but to share in our common desire to glorify God through our lives of services. Holding fast involves deep and sincere communication that requires open and honest heart sharing. In working together, spouses would come to understand that their identity is defined by dependence and relationship with God and not by dependence on their mates. God is asking spouses to be interdependent on each other but not independent of or dependent on each other to the diminishing or exclusion of God.
In order to hold fast to one another, we cannot be independent but are called on to work together to accomplish directives with guidance provided by God for our lives. Our dependence and success are based solely on God as the source of true peace, joy, salvation, and fulfillment. God’s ideal of oneness involves our interdependence or mutual dependence on each other in our pursuit of a Christ-centered life of oneness. We need God to live, but we also need each other’s help to do our best to stand in faith and obedience to God.
The price of oneness is to spend time becoming intimate with God and discover your assignment for life. Then to also spend time learning about your spouse’s life purpose and sharing both your assignments with each other. Dare to believe that God has, and will, utilize your maturing oneness to help accomplish both your life’s goals. Intimacy with your spouse requires time and discipline to share your heart, triumphs, hurts, fears, dreams, and all that is you. Set aside this time and define your path together through deep and growing communication to experience God’s gift of oneness in marriage.