Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)
In your life activities and your marriage relationship, do you sometimes find yourself asking why do the same issues seem to reoccur over and over again? If you are like me you talk to yourself and say, “You are smarter than this,” and maybe you just need to let it go as the popular song out recently says. Do you find yourself struggling to control certain behaviors but having success for only a limited span of time? Do you find it unbelievable that you are back fighting the same habits, matters, and concerns that were fought not so long ago?
I believe that the behaviors or challenges that truly have meaning and need to be resolved are issues that also matter to God. We can sometimes, through determination and great concern, modify our performance or comportment for a moment; but real change can only be achieved from heart-centered actions. In the scripture above, David asked God to search his heart, to know, and try his thoughts. David trusted God enough to invite Him to search his heart to determine if there was anything that might grieve or cause friction between him and God. David’s desire was to stay in the path of everlasting life and fellowship with God.
If you will read the entire Psalm 139, you will note that David had already confessed that God knows everything there is to know about him. David declared that God knew his thoughts before they were even formulated in his mind. So, what was David asking God to do for him? He was asking God to help him see his own heart and acknowledge where the true correction needed to be made and not just the outward appearance. Many times our spouses will forgive our actions because they have seen our hidden hearts and love us for the person not always displayed. David knew that the reason he could not consistently perform as desired was because his heart needed to be changed and direction amended.
If you truly want to love your spouse the way God has defined it in His Word, you are going to need a heart adjustment. This heart correction can only be accomplished with the help of God. Ask God to help you see your heart as the source of your inability to consistently love, forgive, have patience, be long suffering, and share God’s gift with others. When you ask God for help, then you will begin to see, through the events and challenges of life and relationships, the uncovering of heart issues that need modifying. You will realize that God is the only force that can assist you to change you where it really counts, your heart. When your heart is changed, your actions will experience lasting behavior reforms. Let God love you and reveal to you what He already knows and wants to help you overcome.
Sacred Covenant Ministries 